6 Feb 2021 - Stephen McAlpine READ FULL ARTICLE HERE
"...And so we get to spiritual abuse. The deep narcissism of a spiritual abuser sees the spiritual hunger of the church members who have come under his sway as something that can be leveraged to his own purposes, and for his own appetite to be sated. He is constantly scanning the room to see what can be manipulated to meet his own desires.
And while these desires might be stated publicly in terms of spiritual goals, all he has done is list the very things that the congregation values, and then used them to serve his goal of controlling people. The fact that such control may coincide with apparently godly goals is incidental.
The yearning for spiritual intimacy or the desire to be accountable and godly – these are not seen by the spiritual abuser as legitimate yearnings within the congregation to feed, but rather as weaknesses that can be exploited. And in church settings this proves most effective.
The next thing the spiritual abuser does of course, is systematise the abuse, forming leadership around him that both reflects him, defers to him and carries out his will. I have found that the guilt that many ex-leaders have, is that although the knew in their hearts as they went around to someone’s house to pull them into line (at the bidding of the abuser) they did it nonetheless.
Why? There was something deeper being controlled in them that made them fearful also. They did not believe in the abuser’s project as much as fear his wrath, or more to the point, his manipulative emotional distancing from them – if they failed to carry out his task. And once the abuser can get his charges to do the work that he would normally have to carry out, then the abuse is systematised.
As my wife often points out, spiritual abuse is most like sexual abuse, because it gets to the very inner core of who you are. It breaks an intimacy boundary deep within you. And my experience of speaking to people from various groups – including The Crowded House – this past year or so, bears this out."
Published at stephenmcalpine.com
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